Is wearing a thong an act of promiscuity? How young is too young to own your first thong? A mom recently posted this on a Reddit thread after she and her mother-in-law got in a disagreement over whether or not her 12-year-old daughter should be allowed to wear one.

How Young is Too Young to Wear a Thong?

A mother recently posted about an experience she had with her 12-year-old daughter and her mother-in-law regarding thongs. The situation is as follows:

While at school one day, a male classmate teased the young girl because he could see her underwear line through her pants. The girl told her mom how uncomfortable these comments made her and asked her mom what she can do so people can’t see her underwear lines.

The mother discussed the issue with the girl’s father and went out and bought a package of plain, cotton thongs from Walmart. Her own mother had bought her a thong at the same age, so she didn’t think there was anything wrong with it.

Later, the topic came up with her mother-in-law. The older woman was appalled and said that she did not want her granddaughter wearing thongs. When questioned, she said that thongs teach promiscuity and lead to teen pregnancy. According to the mother-in-law, a young girl wearing thongs is “immoral”. (1)

Reddit Users’ Responses

The mother wanted to find out what other people’s opinions were, so she posted her story in the popular subreddit Am I the Asshole?

For the most part, people were on her side. One user said it perfectly:

“Thongs aren’t sexy unless she’s deliberately choosing sexy ones and actually showing them off to people. Otherwise, it’s just practical underwear,” 

One user even mentioned how she wasn’t allowed to wear thongs as a young girl and she acted promiscuous anyways.

Why Women Wear Thongs

Moms everywhere ask themselves this question often regarding their young daughters: How young is too young?

Personally, I believe the more important question to ask is: Why do women wear thongs, and why does your daughter want to?

The most common reason women wear thongs is for the same reason that this 12-year-old came to her mother embarrassed – so that people can’t see the outline of their underwear through their clothing. The entire point of thongs is to hide undergarments so that they won’t be seen.

If the young boys in your daughter’s class can see her underwear, guess what they will think about? Your daughter’s underwear. If she is wearing a thong, well, out of sight, out of mind.

More importantly, not allowing your daughter to wear certain types of underwear because it is “too sexy” or “promiscuous” makes a big deal out of something that shouldn’t be. You are effectively teaching her that this type of behavior is what thongs are for when the reality is they are not.

Teach Your Daughter Confidence, Not Shame

This idea that thongs are immoral promotes the idea that women are sex objects, all the way down to the undergarments that people can’t even see. Perhaps instead you can take this opportunity to teach your daughter confidence, and also open up the discussion around sex and consent.

Remember, underwear is a practical clothing item we all have to wear. It is not “sexy” unless we make it so. Take this as a teaching moment for your young teen.

Not All Thongs Are “Sexy”

Of course, there are thongs in lingerie stores marketed as something appropriate only for the bedroom, however, there are plenty of other thongs that you can buy that are not.

Plane cotton, which is more breathable than anything lacy or silky, is practical and doesn’t encourage any promiscuous behavior.

As women raising the next generation of women, we can help put an end to the promotion of women as sex objects starting from something as simple as underwear choices. Shaming someone, especially a young girl, for the type of underwear she is wearing does nothing but harm to that girl’s self-esteem.

Instead of teaching our children that certain types of clothes mean an automatic “yes”, let’s teach them to be confident, let’s teach them about consent, and let’s teach them that their bodies are their property and no one else’s – no matter what type of underwear they are wearing.